Keep this handy for everyday moments. It gathers calm, evidence-aligned habits for
communicating with someone living with dementia. Print it, screenshot it, or share
it with other carers.
💬 Connecting day to day Meet them where they are - feelings matter more than facts.
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Approach from the front; make eye contact and smile.
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Use short sentences and one idea at a time.
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Give plenty of time to respond.
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Offer simple choices ('tea or coffee?').
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Go with their reality; respond to the feeling.
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Quizzing ('do you remember…?').
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Arguing or correcting every detail.
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Talking about them as if they aren't there.
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Rushing, or asking several questions at once.
🧭 What helps with what Match the moment to the habit.
If they… Try this Why it helps Can’t find a word Wait, then gently offer it Reduces pressure and frustration Ask the same thing Answer calmly again, or redirect The feeling is real even if the fact repeats Get the time/place wrong Reassure, don’t correct Safety and calm beat being ‘right’ Become restless Offer a walk, music, or a simple task Redirects energy gently
🌿 When they're upset A quick map for distress - stay calm and connect.
They seem upset
Check comfort first – pain, hunger, toilet, too hot/cold, tired Lower the pressure – quieter room, fewer people, softer voice Connect, don't correct Name the feeling ('this is frustrating') Reassure with your calm face and tone Redirect gently – a walk, music, a familiar activity
Go deeper
Remember: this is general education, not medical advice.